Becoming LJ – Week 6

A great deal sure has happened in the last week. From leaving tropical weather in Florida to catching the ship in New York and then back again to subtropical weather has been quite a journey. Four days at sea has truly provided me with the necessary time to reflect on so many things that I’ve been working on. Putting the pieces of the puzzle together gives me great hope that I am on the right path.

I’m not in my environment and I’ve missed several readings throughout the past week. I’m still faithful to the basics of the program, yet not as attuned as I normally am. The guilt that began to fester at not having read my weekly allotment of blogs was overcome as I reinforced and put to rest my old festering perfectionist self-doubt by reminding myself I’m at sea – on vacation.

I was looking forward to reading the Scroll II and our new key. My expectations were not let down a bit when I turned the page on Monday morning! This is something that is going to be extremely difficult for me to work on and something I already knew I had to do. My subconscious is to welcome this and I will learn to my love myself. Once I am able to do that, I know I will be able to spread this to everyone from this point forth.

I missed last week’s make up session for digital solutions and missed this week’s lesson and can’t wait to catch the recordings upon my return. I truly feel I am missing out, yet, I am making the best use of my time continuously working on my inner self. This is something I really needed to do. My intellectual, spiritual, emotional, and most recently physical self needed to be put on a new path.

Alas, the one thing I am disappointed in this past week is not having met my service to myself. I wanted to meet 5 passengers by last Sunday and did not attain this feat. This was not a failure nor was it to disappointment but an important lesson that I have social skills I must continue to hone and acquire.

Before I started the program I had a regular routine of having 2 drinks every evening and had reduced my smoking to 2 cigarettes that accompanied these drinks. And I was proud of this as I had been working at quitting for the past 5 years. Since beginning MKE my desire to drink has reduced further and I can honestly say that I haven’t had a cigarette in 5 weeks! I stopped smoking. What an accomplishment.

Further I have an unlimited beverage package on this sailing and I haven’t had more than 3 drinks on any given day, something I did not work towards but something that has increased (lack of interest in alcohol) since joining the program. Quite frankly I haven’t “tied one on” since my early twenties and do not wake up with hangovers; nonetheless, this is an added benefit I didn’t expect. Then I started to read Scroll II and BAM – I come to the section about loving myself and cherishing my body with cleanliness and moderation (I believe I’ve mentioned Divine intervention in the past in some of my blogs),well lo and behold it has come back again in full force! How grateful can I be? Right there in black and white – and I’m already experiencing and adjusting in my life. Further proof that I’m on the right track. I continue to celebrate life and I will continue to keep my promises!